Letter from Your Unconscious on Why You Use Social Media Too Much
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Letter from Your Unconscious on Why You Use Social Media Too Much
Dear You,
I am Your Unconscious.
It’s 11:13 a.m.
You are in the middle of working on a presentation for your boss. It’s very important.
You know you need to focus and make it really great. So you decide to buckle down and work hard.
It’s 11:14 a.m.
You are scrolling Facebook.
Mary is in the Bahamas. You so hate her for that. Like her post.
The mayor did something outrageous again. Outrage emoticon.
There is a new COVID-19 outbreak. Ignore.
An ad for a cool Kickstarter gadget appears. It’s really tempting. I want you to buy it. So you click on the link. But then I get second-thoughts. What if it is a flop. I wasted money, thus resources. I don’t want to make that decision. Leave the tab open and we will decide later (in truth it remains open for several days lost in the 30 open tabs).
Back to Facebook. But now you realize you were scrolling Facebook instead of working on your presentation.
So you ask yourself: ‘Why am I on Facebook? I decided to work on the presentation.’
Why do you use social media without deciding to do it?
The simple answer is because I (your Unconscious) want the instant gratification of social media over the unpleasant and unrewarding work.
But I will break it down in simple terms for you.
Rule № 6: Avoid pain, seek pleasure
Your presentation is painful.
It’s hard and I don’t want to make effort.
It’s uncertain. I don’t know the best way to do it. I have not done it before. I don’t know how to ensure success. So I want to avoid the risk of failure.
It’s socially risky. Other people will judge us based on the presentation. I need their validation so let’s avoid the judging altogether
Social media is pleasurable.
No effort. Just scroll. Easy.
It gives me rewards. I get validation (likes), knowing what other people are up to (belonging), new information.
Rule №8 : Uncertainty is scary
I am protecting us. The presentation is uncertain. So I avoid it. Problem solved. Survival assured.
Rule № 14: Need to feel progress
I get no feedback from your presentation work. We do stuff but it’s all blind. In social media, I have a measure of control (I move my finger and the image moves) and I get instant rewards.
What can you do about it?
Can you get a better job? One that gives me some of what I need instead of this risky work without feedback.
If not, then let’s at least minimize the problem:
Take away my temptations. I won’t reach for Facebook if it’s not within reach. Put way the smartphone. Close the 30 tabs, I want to open each of them again and again.
Make it at least a bit pleasant. Let’s write an outline of the presentation with pen and paper. I get some tactile feedback which feels good. And it feels less uncertain because I have an idea what we will do. Producing all these slides in Powerpoint without a simple story is really confusing and I get very anxious.
Give me a habit. Let’s do all of this type of work at the same time every day. Maybe throw in a specific trigger like a special kind of coffee or something. If we do it in the same way at the same time every day, I will get used to it. It won’t be scary anymore. Or hard. Heck, I might push you to do it.
With selfish love,
Your Unconscious
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